Yup u can hook up with me now and not goto jail
this is a family affair. You're an embarrassment.
whatever it's not my family
So I finally got the Patron washed off my boobs.
I found your dream girl. She looked 11 but drove and on her key chain it said "if i am not wasted the day is"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i was hoping the water fountain would somehow shoot out vodka this morning
I just saw a 3 year old try to break out of a daycare by driving a big wheel at full speed into a metal gate. Today is going to be epic.
We were busted for public indecency in the back of my car in the parking lot. This time we were just reading my Cosmo magazine.
he wont speak to me right now because i told him it must suck knowing he'll never be as good as edward cullen..idiot.
Mom's drinking. Just asked her if she was good to walk back to the condo. She seemed unsure until she remembered she brought the GPS. We are 2 blocks from the condo.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We should make a goal to do one active thing a day, even if its like throwing a ball
And by ball i mean playing catch. Beer pong does not count as an activity
I don't know what happened to get you in this mentality. This time last year your were ass up on a hotel bathroom counter getting licked by a stranger.
We literaly had to peel your fingers off the jose cuervo bottle and lock it in someones room
Post walk of shame: realized the underwear I put on when I left was another girl's underwear.... woof
Welcome to the club of "Sick of cleaning up actual shit." We meet on the 3rd Sunday of each month. Bring your ceremonial viking helmet.
It's all fun and games until your in the alumni campus center puking on the floor
Randomize