Excuse me do you have gonnorhea?
Do ugly people know they are ugly?
The quiet ones do.
obama could have borrowed sotomayor's dick when he threw out that that first pitch like a girl last night
Ill pay your DUI fine if you just come see me nooooowwwww
no. its 2:30am and im not going to jail for a booty call
Captain Phil from deadliest catch died... im trying to think of a memorial fb status but "ill miss your crabs" doesnt sound right
I got my parents high. They've been watching spongebob for six hours. You cannot tell me I'm not the favorite
just bailed mom out of jail. Tell me i'm not the favorite child
i just walked in on him masterbating..to a picture of me. that definitely has to be true love.
I stayed at the bar and helped clean up cause I was told I'd get free shots. Didn't happen.
i knew it was love when she pulled a beer out from between her boobs and offered it to me
Hey, it's all about finding the bright side. And boobs are definitely a bright side.
If Denver makes it to the Super Bowl I'll quit drinking. So I'm pretty much stocking up on booze
I kid you not. He let me in into his house, showed me the putt putt in his backyard. Offered to play me.
Just had a threesome for the second time in my life. I don;t even enjoy threesomes. Too much effort.
HOW DO THESE THINGS KEEP HAPPENING TO YOU?
Our sex is like an episode of "The Simpsons." Picture Homer choking Bart, and that's pretty much what we're into.
Randomize
