Ross. Joey. Chandler. Who would you do?
Fyi mom and I voted and you're the DD tonight, congratulations
stumble upon led me to how to make wine in prison, followed by wedding dresses. it knows my life too well
He'd bedazzaled his ass. Im not even that gay...
This girl just introduced herself as Queefer Sutherland. She's on a roller derby team. What. The. Fuck.
I made two strippers play rock paper scissors to see who would give me a lap dance last night
nope im down the street in my car watching the front of her house. its actually less creepy than it sounds
Dude.. full face helmets and hangovers do not mix... I am never going to get rid of the smell of puke.
I hooked up with a guy dressed as Wesley from the Princess Bride. I kept telling him what I wanted him to do and all he would say was "as you wish"
But seriously who drew a dick on a tortilla and nailed it to the door?
The salesman at the smoke shop just told me my hair is glorious...
He pulled a bucket of fried chicken out of his backpack as a peace offering. Under the chicken was a rainbow bag of weed. We're dating again.
He was going down on me and all I could think about was how proud of me you'd be
Is she blowing you? I'm in the closet.
Hahaha. I'm so high, this is gonna be so intense. Even the DVD menu scared the shit out of me.
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