Her vagina was like a man-sized safe.
I don't even remember his name...i'm just gonna save it as birthday sex
Either way I should probably pregame on the plane
I've see this movie. You sext me after the bar and fall asleep mid sentence. Roll credits.
Fine then. I'll just do all this coke on my own this weekend and die. It'll be strictly your fault.
I am VERY upset that you called my fiesta a waste of time.
i just remember doing it on a pile of clothes while i heard the muffled sound of his friend laughing. then i realized we were in a closet.
i just looked in the mirror i look like i'm about to film a PSA about prostitution
Until you find your self finger banging supergirl in the middle of the dance floor while her friends are passing around for luigi mustache for a photo op, YOU HAVE NOT HIT MY LEVEL
because i know somewhere at some party, behind someones closed bed room door youre being feed a key full of mollie.
Just saw a dude walk out of the parking. Garage in a diaper and tutu. He had a handle in one hand and a toy bow in the other
LOL its 11 am
You told the cop you where the star of the Track team and tried to run away. So yeah, i'm not surprised.
Watching this game makes me realize that we have yet to do Skype shots. What kind of long distance alcoholics are we?
I'm also sorry that I ate your chicken sandwich while you were throwing up....
falling asleep on a hardwood floor changes a person
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