Are we still dressing up as garden gnomes for halloween?
No. I would like to get laid again before I graduate.
i feel as if last night was a right of passage. to officially be an adult you must have a drunken one night stand with a co-worker and go to work the next day still drunk wearing yesterday's clothes...
we just ordered 30 dollars worth of french fries...whats wrong with us?
We are so drunk I just let him piss between my legs on the toilet. That's love.
Aside from the fact that there's a penis in my mouth, that's a pretty good picture of me
You were in subway at 3am showing everyone your tan lines
The cops walked in and cracked up bec he was passed out on the couch in a pink tutu.
Delete that photo of me. My ass looks WAY to good it in to be on Facebook for everyone to see. You gotta earn that shit.
Shouldn't have fucked on the top bunk, I bounced so high my hair got caught in the ceiling fan and almost broke my neck.
A girl just asked me if we had pregnancy tests and a coworker had to stop me from telling her I was a pregnancy test. THAT is why I don't drink at work.
When nipples stop being hilarious I'll stop getting them out in public.
How does one un superglue their foot to the floor
You are the jesus of drinking
I went to the hospital to have my arm checked out, and they already knew the story. They gave me props for posting photos on facebook before even coming to the hospital.
I wasn't that gone.
Dude, you cried and said how sorry you were when we asked why you had the dip.
Randomize
