Half Baked? Au contraire, Ben and Jerry, I was fully baked when I ate that whole pint of ice cream.
Worst PDA I've ever seen. She even licked the mustard off his mustach
i mean i should have known that when i started taking shots with my zumba instructor i was in for a rough night...
with all this snow coming, and no school, I figure why not try every possible liquor snowcone.
I take pleasure in knowing how many gallons of booze we've put away in comradery.
I think we should measure in "bathtubs"
That doesn't mean I'm a slut. Unless McFlurries are involved.
I will rub McFlurries all over you.
A man just poked my foot with his crutches while I'm shitting. Is that how the disabled gays ask for a glory hole blow jay?
Laying in bed nude eating a Big Mac with a cat. It's gonna be a good year.
WHY IS FOOD SO DELICIOUS
BECAUSE SCIENCE
I feel like he has a double life, why was he walking around at 3 am with a backpack?
Friends don't brand friends with cigars. It's not how it works.
We just won 1800 at the casino and are going to the strip club. Who gives a fuck if it's 5pm
I just drove my booty call to his booty call, if that isn't spreading the love, I don't know what is.
He told me to keep watching the Grammys and then went down on me.. I think I'm in love.
Gotta love college... Pregamed for my 8:30 flight home this morning and gave the flight attendants all high fives when I got on the plane. Best ride of my life.
Randomize
