He quoted an N'sync song to confess his attraction to me. Needless to say, I had sex with him.
my fingers and penis are no longer on speaking terms. My penis is too jealous of where my fingers get to go.
they had a keg party to fund her abortion.
Can you come over to my place and make up for the crap you called sex yesterday?
Good morning to you
thank you TLC waking up to a water birth on tv really put the cherry on top of my hangover...
We're Scorpios. We're like dogs rolling in whatever smells good to us.
I just haymakered a dude with my face, can we talk about ME for a second and not the guy I fought?
Never underestimate the power of loudly proclaiming you want to make out with someone
I apparently tried to wax off my nipples.This explains the pain
No way hahaha I have zero intention of adding him I wanna just join in on a three some but mostly just be there for moral support and snacks
Yeah like stabbing myself through the eye with a coffee stir and bleeding out all over the office rug
It's really hard to tweet with a pussy in your face demanding attention.
I wanna suck that fisherman's dick.
Vodka, MiraLAX and Gatorade are perfect for the night before a colonoscopy
I am become drunk, destroyer of all worlds
Randomize
