He seemed more like the type to get donkey punched by a she-male hooker to me
I can't remember last night. I must have yelled at your girlfriend til she cried again.
Yup.
just because you dressed up as a brontosaurus doesn't mean you can poop in my yard and roar at my neighbors
I was amazed that you fell flat on your ass and still managed not to spill them drinks in your hands. Your getting good at this.
Don't forget your talking to the guy who got arrested for throwing beads back at the Mardi Gras floats. You can't deny that's a first, and neither could that cop.
Literally passed out while tubing... Boating while hammered is a blast but thank God for life jackets
Life lesson: When you compete in an impromptu "bloody mary chug-off," in the end, no one wins.
Ummm Im the uneducated alcoholic of the group... if I say its a bad idea, its probably a bad idea.
I have what looks like a rubber stamp mark on my cock from last night that says "Magic Marla Approved" Do we know a Marla?
I don't know if I'm feeling really nervous right now or just extremely horny.
You wrote me a check. For zero dollars. For my soul. Dick.
Like he was trying to be sexy but he had shit taste in porn so i left
I am texting my fuck buddy about fucking tonight, while facebook chatting with his wife about food.
Well he had a nice beard and it smelled good so there was no way I wasn’t going home with him.
Maybe the "i killed someone" and "tequila makes my clothes come off" comments freaked him out.
Randomize
