omg. why did you never tell me how amazing shitting and smoking is?
i thought this knowledge was automatically promulgated at the age of eighteen?
We just made a drinking game out of our chemistry review. This might explain my chemistry grade.
you inspire me to be a worse person
we knew we'd be okay when we walked up to the dealers house and he asked us to please be quiet as to not wake his nana.
Don't worry. I told him just because you've gargled some balls in the past doesn't mean you'll be handling his.
I really wanted that to be shared. Thank you.
Im making gravy in a lace bra and jeans. Just call me the southwern wet dream
I made people serenade her before talking to her and went on a condom run. If I'm going to be in the friend zone, I'm going to be its fucking king.
I'm pretty sure my intestines are bleeding but I'm still going to Orlando to catch that orgasm.
I be dancing. See you soon. You can drink tequila from my pants.
I walked in on him fucking my best friend. I think we've reached the point of following each other on twitter.
The joke is on me because whale penis is forever in my search history.
Worth it.
please come back they are interrogating me about masturbation
Well puke fest 2014 just happened
My autobiography will be 500 pages of the words "I probably should've thought this through" typed over and over.
Okay well for one he didn't speak any english but before any happened he made me use the translator to consent
Randomize
