when you find your car can you pick me up? his mom is here and im hungover
just woke up to two already rolled blunts and a full explanation of what happened last night. I love my gf
Why does he only make me orgasm when I'm about to break up with him?
I'm at your house, laying with your dog, eating taco meat, take your time.
Ed's in which sucks about a thousand cocks... But thats 1800 less than working with Alex so it's gonna be a good day
I have your car and your sandals. My shoes are somewhere under the puke couch. Safari time.
You had me at "mimosas" several texts ago.
bad night - i tried for naughty librarian but could only manage to pull off pissed off barrista.
Ive seen his manscaping faults. Given the choice I'd rather dry hump a cactus
Well Apparently I went to piss out my window last night, woulda been ok if I opened the window or the blinds.
As soon as I got there, you appeared out of no where, yelled "they're giving away free cigarettes!" in my face and then disappeared and I didn't see you the rest of the night.
I tried to settle their lesbian roommate fight by turning on Pretty Wild
You grabbed my shirt and said, "hope you're not attached" and ripped it off before I could answer you.
the D I S R E S P E C T of sending someone nudes, them opening it, and not bothering to respond
Vulcans are sexy now IT HAS BEEN WAY TOO LONG SINCE I'VE GOTTEN LAID
Randomize
