We were having sex on the balcony and this guy walked by, so drunkily i said "dont move, he cant see us if we dont move."
Half Baked? Au contraire, Ben and Jerry, I was fully baked when I ate that whole pint of ice cream.
dude she licked ball and has every Are you afraid of the dark episode on dvd
lock that shit down
So Jesus turned water into wine. So what? I once turned a whole student loan into natty light. Your move holy man.
like why cant he just admit that he still wants to fuck me even though im underage
She's been divorced three times and use to raise cock fighters. Of course I'm interested in her
I think I explained what happened in the voicemail. But I think I might have just cried and ranted about how cool osiris shoes are
I'm sorry, but the "Hobbit Slam" has to be a sex move.
I feel like I got run over by a bus full of inebriated Scotsmen on the way to a soccer riot.
Some girl dressed in nothing but Wonder Woman underwear and a cape on her ass just started twerking all over us. Remind me why I'd never been to a midnight of Rocky horror before?
You spent the entire night trying to get me to make out with you
yeah I remember. your boyfriend shouldnt have cheered me on though.
he just sent me a dick pic, it highly resembled a cheese stick
We just catapulted a jelly bean off of his hard dick into his mouth.......Happy Easter!
I have never lost more friends than while playing Uno drunk.
can you tell me why i woke up in a diaper and combat boots?
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