Pants 0. Shit 1.
I just saw a pregnant woman with a cigarette and a beer walking into the Larry the Cable Guy show. I'm glad my taxes are paying her medical expenses.
worst lay ever....
as long as you cum, there is no bad sex
ya... thank god for condoms, I was able to fake it... I stand by my original statement
Come on Nikki god gave you a vagina for a reason, so you could tell guys what kind of shots to buy you
There's a lady here with a big bag of dildos. I'm not sure that's appropriate bar baggage but, I like her style
I can hear my parents having sex. I REPEAT. I CAN HEAR MY PARENTS HAVING SEX! THIS IS NOT A DRILL!
Your mom is 55 and has MS. To be honest, I'm proud of her, and you should be too, bitch.
I'm working on finding a bottomless situation. Both pants and mimosas.
This election needs to be over, im tired of girls asking who im going to vote for mid hookup
I don't know where he learned to eat pussy but I thought I was going blind
He paid the bartender with money from the tip jar then proceeded to hit on me in front of my date. I love frat dances
That's fine. It's not illegal to bring ham into a museum.
But I don't wanna live with them bc I need to be able to walk around naked and sex on any surface guilt free.
Trust me.. Might look gay.. Might feel gay... But I could snap your neck with my inside thighs bro
Well, that's not my fault. I make decisions all the time when I'm drunk.
All I want for my birthday to be fingered and eat pizza
Randomize
