I was going to clean my house but wine sounded better
is it bad that while shopping i looked specifically for clothes that hold their form after taking them off and putting them on again and again?
I guess what I'm trying to say is you've fucked more people than the economy.
Correction, I've been on a lot of dates and a lot of dicks
The only thing I have to prove last night happened is a fireman's hat full of puke.
The girl next to me in class is taking notes on woman's suffrage with a girls gone wild pen.
Gong!
YOU'RE MARRIED NOW YOU CAN'T KEEP GONGING ME WHEN YOU GET LAID IT DOESN'T COUNT
My judgement was not "clouded". My judgement was in the midst of a fucking hurricane or something ridiculous.
true... I just kept thinking "THAT IS A PENIS. OMG THAT IS A PENIS. DOES HE KNOW IM STARRING? STOP LOOKING. OMG THIS IS AWKWARD. PENISSSSS"
Let us bow our heads and pray that I don't throw up in the tub
we all thought you were asleep. he found you an hour later sitting outside in the snow lighting a bowl, singing the CatDog theme song, and hugging a box a Franzia.
I still blew him because I won't let allergies keep me from doing what I want. But I almost suffocated like 10 times.
I don't wanna see it, I don't wanna touch it, I just want it in me.
My Boss was giving porn recommendations. I think I'm scarred for life.
The highlight of my week is I found some hetero porn I didn't completely hate. Branching out.
Randomize
