I want leopard sheets
haha sexcapades
thats the plan
I had a dream last night that I was the one that killed Biggie
And I know a few people wouldnt want to even be around high people. Which is sad. But jet packs are cool.
Easy for you to say! His first impression of you isn't the drunk girl in a turtle costume who got hit by a car!
He texted me for drugs this time. Not sex. I dunno if I should be pleased it's not sex or disappointed that I come across as a druggie
He told me i had to sleep under his bed. He said it would be my castle.
After you vomited on the patrol car, you thanked the officer for helping you up off the ground. I don't think you realized you were being arrested.
My prof gave me extra credit for drawing a ninja on my paper and writing "ninja will up my grade"
You stood outside his house all night throwing your sister's leftover Easter eggs and singing 'now you're just somebody that I used to blow'
I feel like he's mythological. Like you just had lunch with the Loch Ness Monster of hotness
I was at the pharmacy picking up my herpes medication and the pharmacist asked if I had any questions about my medicine, looked at the bottle, and laughed. Insult to injury man.
how do i act around someone who's shoes i puked in while naked and blackout?
Like, my vagina is jet-lagged.
Dude there's ten thousand dollars worth of damage to the kids house and three thousand in stolen property and his dog is missing he is pissed
If I give him back his dog do you think he'll invite me to the next party
Naptime over. I've got fresh contacts and tequila. RAAAAAAGE!
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