what ever happened to devon sawa?
fuck...who knows?
i'm really worried about him.
Remember in school when they told us our vag was made just the right size for our future husband? I must say I am enjoying trying to find that perfect fit.
Using your Catholic School education as an excuse for this? Why didn't I think of that?!
The fact that both my ribs are severely bruised from shoving flasks in my bra might be a validation of my mothers alcoholic accusation
I recommend you throw your keys as far as you can in one direction, your phone as far as you can in the opposite direction, and hold on.
bad night - i tried for naughty librarian but could only manage to pull off pissed off barrista.
We lost power at midnight which freaked out my roomate and friends. The power came back on 30 minutes later. We are now at the bar having "the rapture came and we were left behind" shots
Yea no bueno and I only brought enough weed to last one night. And it was no Hanukah nug, it didn't last 8 days.
Well, we won the drunk before noon contest!
I've counted four places at work I need to get laid in. Come help me accomplish this.
Hey, I'm your guy
I asked him for something to clean up with after sex and he handed me a sham wow. A SHAM WOW
All I've done is masturbate and drink while being home from college.
He referred to his penis as "The Purple Headed Yogurt Slinger." I'm both disgusted and turned on
i sent him a picture of his friend's dick and told him he should really stop thinking he's my only option.
Thanks for leaving me with drunk gabby
Hahahaha why what's happening?
She's sending me morse code through the wall....typical
The thought of you trying to procreat frightenes and disgusts me!
Randomize
