She's just bitter because she lost all the weight only to discover she doesn't have a pretty face after all.
lets put it this way..we'd win on tool academy
I just found her phone in the quesadilla maker...
I'm actually agreeing with glenn beck. What the FUCK was in that margarita?!
oh but the power of the cock will take you to places you never been..i flew to hawaii once to sleep witha chick
They nicknamed me the gargoyle. Sex with me is getting gargoyled. The last one I fucked yelled "gargoyle me" for dirty talk. I think fucking me is part of their pledging initiation. Somewhat OK with this.
please hold off on going into labor, i might need you to take me to the free clinic
I really hope jumping jacks prevent pregancy because I'm kind of banking on it right now, do you know why there's a unicycle in the corner of my room?
Plus, it's just valuable. Virgin pee is very well-priced.
Note to self: don't practice nerdy white girl dance choreography in the company bathrooms no matter how nice the huge mirrors and lighting are.
I had the bathroom of girls sing you happy birthday while you puked. I couldn't stop laughing. They were all so supportive
Why is it that the asexual in our group is the one that gets laid the most often??
This chick walked up to me in the bar and started making out with me, then grabbed my drink while I wasn't looking and walked off.
i just woke up, first off why is there pineapple everywhere and who's underwear is on my ceiling fan ?
Your parents are gone and we haven't fucked in their bed... why?
Randomize
