highlight from tonight: i hit on her and her mother.
I just smoked pot in front of my old Elementary School. It's like my Childhood and Adulthood are coming together in this awesome thing.
I saw a stripper quit while on stage to months ago nothing you tell me will amaze me
I kindof just wanted to go downstairs and let his dad know how good his son was at sex
if she didnt wantt to be febrezed, she shouldnt have smelled so desperate.
Hickies on top of my hickies. I need a leash and/or a positive female role model
Got high with dad and hunted squirrels in the basement. Is this seriously what my life has come to?
At first I was horrified but then he explained that he shave a "soul patch" on his balls... And I was still horrified, but I went with it.
I based a lot of our friendship on the fact that I thought you were crying from feeling so sad for me when I got crabs. I'm not sure if we can ever be as close now.
This hangover is what we deserve after that level of debauchery.
Saw the guy I once slept with, he was buying Beer and shit tone of diapers. Glad to see how 2016 will turn out.
I got blackout last night and applied to be a banker
I've had pants off for 3 hours now. America.
If you can throw 105 mph it’s mandatory that you’re hung.
What’s the best way to find out if he’s into anal?
I think you have the wrong number, but good luck with that
Randomize
