Sex don't cost a thang now that you can buy trojans with meal points.
after we finished we were both getting water at the kitchen sink...butt naked
so?
then my sister's foreign roommate walked out...in footy pajamas
Why do I always have sex on the first date when I know it demotes me to booty call girl?
you're dressed like that and you're on the rag, that's false advertisment
today is like waiting for pizza day in elementary school, but with sex added
He has been begging me for a Bj but doesnt want to get mono
How is he gunna get mono? is he gunna suck on his dick after you?
She's licking the seat belt now. Feeling a little uncomfortable
mom just asked if we are going to need more kaluha as she pulls 5 out of the cupboard. this xmas might kill me
It's just weird. It's like Big Bird dating Meg Griffin.
Was it fun? The night started with home made Jager and ended in him falling out of a tree with a pocket full of house numbers...you tell me.
Body paints and jello. Your canvas awaits
Another sexterpiece awaits
Why did I see a weird snapchat of you barking at McDonald's last night?
my favorite part of this morning was sitting at the gynecologist smelling like cigarettes and wearing yesterday's clothes.
You seem like the type to go to a craft sale baked out of your mind. I like you.
He graduated. He’s not my GA anymore. He’s just the 24 year old that’s helping me put a sexless marriage in the rear view mirror by exploring the Kama sutra with me
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