HELP! I am trapped in a douchebag ad... full of Affliction and Ed Hardy. Seriously? is he gonna leave his sunglasses on the entire 10 seconds of this encounter?
I've spent 9 hours vomitting in the fetal position... how did i stay like this for 9 months?
just cuze she's 16 doesn't mean it's illegal to add her on facebook
we were holding hands throwing up into the same garbage can; if thats not true love i dont know what is .
I'm just not sure how to initiate the "do you want to have sex with my boyfriend and I" conversation
You always know it is going to end badly when a guy asks if he met you at a "coed naked lawn bowling party"
He just asked if I would make his black snake moan. Dating basketball players is not worth the glory
There's a certain level of slut that i can handle.... I think she just broke that scale
i was holding a cup in her face for her to throw up in while screaming THIS IS THE DEFINITION OF FRIENDSHIP
I found him with a guitar and his kitten in his room. He was singing a song he'd titled "you're a cat". Guess what most of the lyrics were...
Don't be alarmed at the kitchen mess. I had to shoot the fire extinguisher on the toaster oven, one quick blast. It was a matter of safe over sorry.
I met his dad. Turns out he was a one nighter from the nurses conference in Vegas. Not sure how to handle this one.
Clearly, you already have. Both of them.
Can't feel body but making pizza rolls
Opening my shipments of mascara and nipple pasties this morning like a boss bitch
He’s definitely circumcised. There’s not enough room in those speedos for a foreskin with that fire hose he’s packing.
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