My family just had an in depth argument about the meaning of chodes
You should really figure out how to get me a picture that will pop up on my phone when you call
Just upload a picture of Bea Arthur. That's what my soul looks like these days
i wish you could fill a pinata with booze
Just got thank you sex for shoveling the driveway. I cant wait for the next blizzard
Fun fact: Antibacterial soap will not take the combined smell of bbq sauce and vagina off your hands.
Everything gets a little fuzzy after the flats of jello shots, but I do have a vague recollection of being at the top of a large human pyramid
So if you want this MFM threesome thing to happen the other guy is here and willing
You disappeared for an hour and showed back up with handfuls of bratwursts and yelled at my girlfriend that if she didn't eat them, that the nazis win
I woke up on the dog bed, bottle of alcohol still in hand and my thong was hanging off the family portrait.... Yikes
Idk I somehow continue to get laid by pulling my dick out and reciting the 3 world country orphan kid commercials
Do you guys think there will be a coke-for-Molly barder at bonnaroo?
we just smoked for like ten hours and got froyo. not a bad start to the weekend.
All that stuff they told us in middle school about drugs being easy to find was a bullshit lie.
I didn't want dick. I wanted spaghetti.
Help. Why am I so naked?
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