just realized we made a drinking game to how many times they say "hakuna matata" in the lion king last night... hello sophomore year.
I found out during it when he said "my girlfriend never does this" so he's all to blame, I had no idea until half way through.
Clearly he doesn't understand my need to be surrounded by cats at all times
Wait til she sees the pic of her vag in court docs.
Yes perhaps we are both wrong. And did you call me bj girl?
at which point he tried to give himself a prince albert piercing with the stapler on his desk.
I would have gladly let him decapitate me with the way he was biting on my neck.
When you get a chance, you should call Nick. He REEAAAALLLLLY wants to hear you make chewbacca noises.
I would have cried, probably tears of wine, but cried nonetheless.
His dick is so big it could be an arm rest.
Went to 7-11 to buy condoms with the $20 I found on the ground outside Rite Aid. A good day for drug stores
About 98% sure I just walked by some dude jerking it in the library. I'm guessing his college experience isn't going as planned
Can I just buy you sex toys as a wedding gift? Bc I’m here for that and you
His relationship is over as soon as he sees my boobs. I’m going to titty fuck my way into his heart
Why does my mask smell like doritoes?
Randomize
