i can smell the iron from margo's period blood from across the table.
My STD test came back clean. I'd like to thank all the guys I've slept with, they made this possible. I want to say thanks to all my friends, for believing in me living up to the full slut potential. And last but not least, I'd like to thank alcohol. I wouldn't be who I am today w/out you. I feel like I need to frame this...
We were just about to get down to business and shes like oh the olympics! and jumped up and turned on the tv. cockblocked by freestyle skiing. seriously?
Who won mens moguls?
That canadian guy... bilodeau... but you're missing the point, dude.
I forget the details, but I'm told that I drunkenly stalked him around floor yelling obscure Jewish laws at him
I went up to get a drink from the hotel room. And ended up getting arrested in the lobby. Spring break has not been forgiving this year.
NEW INFORMATION meech found me passed out on a bench outside.
I am almost positive I asked to milk her when I was saying my goodbyes.
My addiction to golf is getting out of hand....I just caught myself swinging my dick like a putter while peeing.
"It's not a date, we're just spending the entire day at a concert and then getting high together." Awesome.
You have found the Promised Land of friend zones
I'm high and dancing to practical magic. Your needs for my penis can wait.
EXCEPT MY COUSIN SAW MY SEX TAPE!
Gonna try and have sex in the empire state bldg, will tell you how it goes
He's literally cuddling with the washer and dryer.
It's a shame things ended how they did. We were well on our way to transforming from acquaintances with benefits to friends with benefits.
I stared at his dick and then told him to get on his knees
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