i have a strong urge to join the asians in the park doing tai chi. I think im still high .
i bet even starving children in Africa take the crust off their poptarts
his pick up line was "wanna get a pizza and fuck?"
did it work
that's not the point...
If you bang a chick other than your girlfriend while playing tiger woods on xbox I wonder if an accomplishment would come up...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There was blood everywhere. She was pretty good looking person though.
Of course he wants me there for his birthday. If a girl offers you a blowjob for every year of your life, you're gonna want her to be there.
We should have cut you off when you asked the can driver if you could ride in the trunk.
my greatest accomplishment from the city of diplomacy is that i puked at a table of 5 diplomats and my professor and NONE OF THEM NOTICED
I just want a teacup pet pig so I can take him to parties with me and never have to walk home alone again.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just saw a couple chasing each other on lawn mowers. Oh South Knoxville.
I just got dropped off by that cop that pulled you over. Best sex ever! Consider that $140 ticket my birthday present.
If you don't see me at the bar tomorrow night, I was most likely captured by the communists.
I have done everything sexualally imaginable with that umpalumpa
He serenaded me say anything-style with Weird Al songs and then blew me on the beach. I'd say he's a keeper.
My boss couldn’t find her phone so she asked me to call it and when I found it the screen said Fuck Toy was calling. I’m very much okay with this
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