i could totally date him if i was just drunk the whole relationship
I don't know. I guess at the end of the day I wanted taco bell more than a boyfriend.
Totally get that.
Night. I'll wake u up at 6 with the unfinnished vodka bottle so be prepared young grasshoper. U have much to learn.
Just talked to Kate. She said I called her on Friday night. She said I was crying for 5 minutes because we were parked in front of a fire hydrant.
I almost just texted "I'm lonely" to my gynecologist.
Please brint me miilk. I am on the floor but my door is open. Thank you, i appreciate u verry much.
So note to self oboe reeds soaked in Apple Rubinoff sound GREAT.
I really don't think there's anything more liberating than farting.in a loud bar where no one.can.hear you
I made out with a dude last night who has an ex wife. Is this what post grad life is about?
Serious concern: will TSA confiscate my bondage rope?
... why is there baby oil , black socks and frozen hot dogs in the sink this morning ?
you were so high you asked for half double stack and half crispy chicken sandwich "welded together" in the wendy's drive through
Well he had a nice beard and it smelled good so there was no way I wasn’t going home with him.
It got to the point where I was so drunk, playing rock paper scissors as a drinking game seemed like a good idea.
There are only a few things more freaky than wandering around a zoo drunk.
Randomize
