let's makeout let's makeout let's make out let's make out
And you kept hanging up and calling back because you thought I wasn't greeting you properly.
I think the imperative here is that I literally knocked down a sorority house with the force of my dick.
Boxed wine mondays was one of our finer ideas
So you think it's my fault? I didn't give you the 10 shots you took nor make you eat the brownies we made... btw, i found your engagement ring, it was in the last brownie you wouldn't let me have while dragging me to my room.
You almost hooked up with 200lb woman in her mid-forties, because you were convinced she was adele. Your drinking problem is officially out of control.
He is crying over the toilet and his friends just came in and tried to make him take another jello shot.
I like that we've become good enough friends again that I can make fun of your penis without it being awkward
My house smells like bleach. Also, I do not feel bad about all the stuff I stole from the hospital while I was there.
IF IT WALKS LIKE A MANWHORE AND QUACKS LIKE A MANWHORE, HE PROBABLY HAS VD.
I'm tired of being known as the Great Giver Goddess of the Almighty Pity Bone.
this is the last time i am going to a 7am booty call
Okay first of all, that is a sick ass nickname please call me that forever. Second, i need your help.
can we drink soon
I'm not sure who this is but I'm free tomorrow night
I don't know who he was but he was covered up with a shower curtain and ate a whole bottle of tums
Randomize
