So why didn't Edward and the Cullens just kill Hitler?
You need to stop watching Twilight.
hey everyone... booty call? my house tonight. bring friends to fuck my friends.
new level of vanity: sex dreams about deep throating myself...
She tags her boyfriend in all of her pictures on her heart...
i mean i should have known that when i started taking shots with my zumba instructor i was in for a rough night...
they fed me a peach. i was laying on the floor telling them how beautiful they were
Call me when you get off. I have stories about black lesbians in jail begging to braid my hair...
Those titties aren't worth a lifetime of listening to her talk about gluten free yams and japanese manga.
Have you ever noticed that the cities in car commercials look really futuristic?
...did you eat that brownie?
She was the shot vending machine at the party. But free.
Please come over, I'm slowly melting into a ball of sexual frustration. If I'm not dead by the end of the day be very surprised.
Yeah, the email that I was sending to get an Escort for the weekend, copied and pasted to my boss, that should be interesting conversation, when I come back from Christmas vacation break.
Really I don't care what we're doing or watching. Your penis spends way too much time outside of my body.
I love you but this is the first Saturday I have ever spent at the police station. And where are my boxers?
Somebody broke the sliding door, and someone ripped the toilet seat off the toilet. So yeah, pretty typical friday night
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