SLUTTIEST. 4TH. EVER.
My mom assumed I was crying because he was leaving. Figured that was better than explaining my eye's sensitivity to semen..
a kid who worked there came up to me and let me know you were sitting in the bathroom sink. he said it was fine, so i just kept checking on you.
We are going out Saturday. Oh and we might also be jousting on bikes.
Also, I threw up on the playground again. I've honestly had more fun there this past summer than I did in my entire childhood.
Your cock is gonna weep like a baby
I got eye-fucked by an 80 year old man wearing a cowboy hat while I was singing country. How do you think karaoke went?
Babe.. You are farting in your sleep and it literally smells like something crawled up your asshole and died.. I'm gagging and I feel like I'm eating your fart right now. I want to tape your ass cheeks shut and plug up that canon you call your ass. All I hear is snores and farts.. You are lucky I love you
My pants are on and I'm pretty sure I tried to throw them at someone.
i swear i was one second from getting his number and then the shrooms kicked in
It's cool bro. The video I have of you drunk trying to fix it with the sonic screwdriver was worth it.
Shut up. You had me at killer robots. Your place or mine?
The first time he ever tried to hold my hand, I moon walked away.
You know, normal sex stuff involves shitting your pants. If you do it right.
It goes to show, Sane person, daddy doms, little girls, all of us may seem different but deep inside we all grow wisdom teeth
Randomize
