All these guys look like the American Apparel version of Jesus...
Why are there hot girls at the dollar store?
The recession has changed everything man.
apparently went to arby's at 2:30am banging on the windows for someone to make me a "beefy"
He is drunkenly eating my teddy grahms and making little growling noises as he bites the head off of each one.
does drinking everclear count as brushing your teeth? because i think they are sterilized
i hate this class. from the way they're all staring you would think they've never seen a girl in basketball shorts, heels and sunglasses.
We're not too concerned with getting her out of jail. We're on a mission for donuts.
I now have an ENTIRE drawer of unused disposable silverware from Boston Market... and you guys said I needed to "buy" kitchen stuff
I just tried to sell my homemade "lightning bolt stencil for pubes" on Etsy.
i offered her breakfast shots. she politely declined.
He kept his baseball cap on when he went down on me...
He told me to put on my big boy pants, then take them off and fuck her before he smacks me with a chair. His pep talks suck.
I have to have sex on a bidet. I'm not sure what kind, but it's reason #4 for an Italian vacation!
i do my most serious thinking while screwing her. ive pondered everything from quantum physics to the life cycle of a badger. if i keep this up ill have a phd in no time.
I'll be coming off of 7 days of not drinking. No horse tranqs either. I haven't been this sober since I was in the womb
Randomize
