dats a huuuuuge bitch!
who is this????
Do you need to be saved?
No I think I'm God
Last night is one of those stories you hear about on 20/20 right after they make a law banning 90% if what I did.
Responsibility does not care about your dick.
no jill really. Evrything around me is talking to me. The plant, my dog, the tv,the lamp. Its amazing.
bottle of wine in one hand cigar in the other. 5 am. topless on our fire escape. and she cleaned our bathroom... i like his new girlfriend.
We found her on the trampoline. She told us she was jumping so she could puke & rally. I think I want to marry her.
I think winning the long island race means you lose at life
the game I always play with drunk me is can-you-button-and-unbutton things? If the answer is no, go home. Usually it's his pants
Well if you're drunk enough to make some mistakes this week I'd be down to redeem myself for my poor performance.
Is it bad to have a craving for speed? I feel like my nose is thirsty.
If you could not mention to him that I slept with his best friend, that'd be cool of you.
Well, I guess my plans of staying around the apartment and drinking my weight in boxed wine are ruined. I have a date tonight.
Chicks dig it when you smell like bong water and frebreeze.
I honestly have no desire to wear clothes around you
I have that affect on people
Randomize
