My room smells like vodka and shame
He came on my face and tried to draw out a smiley face because he said I looked like I had a bad day
I got a hennah tattoo of my room number on my arm...I love spring break in Mexico!
I just want you to know IcyHot in the ear is weird. Don't ask.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The moment you realize you should grow up: you're snorting your fathers percocet script with your old health insurance card, while your parents are on a 10 day cruise in the carribean...
Because of him my new motto is "Keep calm and fuck a guy with a beard". Yes, I am serious.
Drinking heavily at 3pm and about to rescue a 30lb street turtle. Dont even bother attempting to rise to this level bitch
I think the old lady next to me at the bar just saw your pussy
how do you ask an olympian for your underwear back?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I got you a "sorry you think I'm pregnant" present
I probably should have eaten more before I started shotgunning beers at 9am, but it was so much damn fun.
someone in the elevator just told me i looked like a struggle but i smell very pretty..
He said the main reason he fucked me was cause of my storm trooper tattoo. IT ATTRACHES ALL THE HOT NERDS
i saved a drunk oompa loompa he was passed out on the lawn and i picked him up figured out where he lived and put him in his bed and wrote his roommate a note
I learned tonight while in another country that no matter the nationality, men are disappointing in bed
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