Define "chronic" masturbator.
I just woke up and realized I puked in my boxers WTF.
You stay classy.
The worst part was I forgot until I tried to put them on.
I have a pussy blister if you wanna poke at it with a needle tomorrow...by this text i realize just how strange our relationship is, especially because you're probably excited
I think you mean your blister is filled with pus...atleast i hope
Cleveland boys shit in their own pumpkins in their own living room. Got pictures to prove it.
Not gonna happen. She just told me she puts glitter over the mole on her nose to make it look like a piercing.
How do you have time to get laid so much in law school?
I like to set goals for myself. for example, he was my first libertarian
Just had to throw up on the floor of my car during traffic on the way to work. Car next to me saw both times. Found the downside to having a job right after graduation.
Are you absolutely against sleeping in your car? Because i've done that before.
You are the only person I know who got away with wearing a turtleneck while getting laid. ONLY person.
In the pie chart of my life, she is a huge part of why I drink.
fuck Derek. I choose weed. weed isn't angry and would never ask me to be someone I'm not.
WHAT KIND OF GUY JACKS OFF TO A PICTURE OF A BUTT WHAT IS THIS THE 1980s
He also told me he would eat mozzarella sticks before having sex with me so I'm mad at him.
He's a 30 yr old man who voluntarily goes by Stevie and his job title is "Jumbotron Operator". There's a 97.5% chance he lives in his mom's basement. STOP THIS NOW!!!
My dad is clearly baked off his ass. He almost sat on moms cat in front of her, zoned out while staring at it and said he wondered what it was thinking about. Now he's dragging everything from the livingroom into the garage. Moms not happy.
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