The midget we rented got so drunk last night he got carted off in an ambulance
I wonder if those guys know that i know that is a halfway house and dont just think it is some cool older guy frat house.
I think I'm going to inject the gummy vitamins with vodka
I'm glad you're using your medical degree for some good for once
Just rented the SCUBA equipment. Meet me at the pool to test the underwater beer bong idea.
It's a lightpost hitting you in the head. Of course it's going to hurt the day after.
I just don't understand how we smoked the EXACT same thing and I feel fine but Tim's over here serenading his fifth bowl of fruit loops with Elton John's entire discography.
Oh my god. A memory of last night just came to me. One of our neighbors joked about Thomas having a big dick and I just kept shaking my head profusely.
Omg. The news was on TV while I was giving him a bj...when the weatherman said its a beautiful start to December, he groaned and said it sure is.
Drinking a bawls. If I'm dead when you get home, yes, they are poisoned.
There's a guy here who is improvising his own shadow dance on a table against the wall, in case you're wondering how my night is going
You gave your one night stand my number. I told him you left for your sex change an hour ago.
Why would you get kicked out?
Well, an overweight man is currently not wearing a shirt. Or pants. And is getting in touch with his inner Chippendale. You can probably fill in the blanks.
Two grav bong hits and a shower later and I'm ready for company
It's like you say things that speak to my soul on a deep personal level
Well I only snuggle him I don't hump him. That's rude.
I think my roomie is silently judging me for spraining my foot by having sex in a bounce house
so the bounce house and tequila was good idea then?
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