Now that I've come to graduate college. I realized the only discernible skill I learned was how to roll a joint properly. go me.
Well thats $24,000 well spent.
This boy just came into class wearing sperrys and a polo but also carrying a longboard. I'm unequivocably attracted to his level of doucheyness.
At one point during the moaning he reminded me of Forrest Gump
the semester is winding down: time to procrastinate by googling cheap keg options
He is in the front yard trying to catch birds out of the air with a fishing net.
I'd like to be considered more than just his fuck buddy thanks. IVE BEEN RISKING PREGNANCY FOR SEVEN GODDAMN MONTHS I DESERVE THE TITLE OF GIRLFRIEND
Ikeep having to ask jim if I'm actually talking. I canmt feel my body...this is what Christmas is all about
Yup. We're now banned from TWO of our nation's finest zoos.
You told the cop FUCK YOU AND YOUR TASER, i dont think he appricaited that
Ugh. I guess I'm crying loudly or something. My mom just came in and gave me milk, chocolate, a Xanax, and her weed "for the break up blues". Her ways of affection are so odd.
Dude, we apparently put a washing machine drum in that back of your truck with the full intention of making a bonfire in it.
I am. I woke up on someone's front lawn dressed as max Payne also be proud.
my bed is a shrine, and I am its goddess.
tinder day one and i already had more guys message me about "the girl with the big tits in my second picture" than about me. MY 17 YEAR OLD SISTER CAN GET LAID WITHOUT EVEN HAVING TO MAKING A PROFILE
to be fair she does have a great rack
You took your pants and underwear off as soon as we got to Melissa's and just walked around the entire time like it was completely normal. We even ate pizza together with your vagina exposed. You're my hero.
Randomize
