And then I said "flip over. I want to show you something i learned in Afghanistan."
so you know how i got laid the other night? well a condom just came out of me and i dont know whether to be grossed out or happy
i am grossed the fuck out
I think dad's getting high again. His last google search was "awesome ping pong shit."
Fyi when u order four mini bottles of scotch on a 45 min flight. The flight attendants jaw drops to the floor.
No, i went to get it done but the guy couldnt find it. exhibit A of why i wanted a clit piercing in the first place.
Ya but I plan to getting arrested more towards the end of summer
Woke up this morning with seven juice boxes under my pillow and an empty box of condoms In my pocket. Good night.
He wants me to hook up with his fiance while he watches. Text you later with how it goes.
Matt's offering to breast feed it.
I've grown it out to 70s proportions. I'm calling it my chastity pelt.
I'm proud of you for choosing to be an organ donor on your fake!!
I am 5' 11" of pure, uncut Fuck Off right now.
You just kept looking down at your tits and screaming "I LOVE YOU TWO!!!"
I'm keeping him.
Sex was good?
I had to tap out three times. There aren't words for how much better than "good" that is.
Next time we do shrooms i am finding an open field at sunrise and running through it and nobody is stopping me this time!
Randomize
