Boner jamz table deep. plus bar deep. wiing waing.
Seriously just heard: "we need some good ass wine. how bout this swa-vig-non blank"
hahahaha. Oh virginia: where the south begins
i was holding a cup in her face for her to throw up in while screaming THIS IS THE DEFINITION OF FRIENDSHIP
Currently shopping online for cardboard cutouts of various horror characters. That should teach me roommates to stop taking acid on Tuesdays.
I'm two guys short from fucking the whole baseball team and one is gay. I will be successful by the end of this month.
I don't know how I'm going to know it's her, I only know what she looks like with a wig on
SHE COULD ALREADY BE HERE AND I WOULDN'T EVEN KNOW
Looking through my moms phone and find a pic if a dick. Scarred for life.
He's slurring his text. I didn't think that was possible.
there is something very satisfying about getting tacos after hours of sex.
I just wanna inform you guys that the first pregnancy scare of 2016 is over...
Fuck off. Since when do you love him??
Since he licked my arm to retrieve the macaroni and cheese he dropped. You have to appreciate that
Can't even lie. Mad respect
One can only be this extremely wet once a year and I feel like I'm bitch slapping god by not using this gift he has bestowed on me.
he asked me for a magic BJ...is that supposed to be different from a normal BJ?
Dude no i feel my liver disintegrating
Of course he’s dumb. He’s got a 9 inch dick! There’s not enough blood in his body for a big dick and a big brain. It’s science
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