You work out of a Hotel?
What's proper 1 nite stand etiquette?
Say hi to his dad and make him some breakfast.
I lost control in the snow and hit a parked car. I went into our building to get a pen and paper to leave a note and when I came back the car was gone and there was a hot girl there. I used the pen and paper to get her number.
She woke me up, whispered "I like the size of your dick", kissed me, and rolled over and went back to sleep
He took a banana and in front of everyone showed her how he wanted it done.
Stripper told me "sorry i'm not squezing my tits in your face much, I just had a kid and don't want to squirt you in the eye with milk. " in the middle of my lap dance
Please delete that video of me blowing you. I will repay you with 100 blowjobs even better than the one I gave you during that video. Please. I am gonna be a grandma one day.
i want to pour hot gravy all over you in bed
I never actually go in the club. I get in line, hit on a chick, and convince her to come drink all she wants for free at my house.
I'm a complete klutz, especially when I get excited. I pee a lot too. I'm like a puppy except I don't pee in the floor.
Sorry, It's like OkCupid Olympics... categories: best sext, best dick pic, and most effort by ugly. You won gold in the last event if that makes you feel better.
It's like the cookie assaulted me with being high.
But if you do poop yourself let me know. I want that as a tagline. "So funny she'll make you shit yourself."
I don't just want drugs. I deserve drugs.
MY HISTORY TEACHER IS FUCKING MY MOTHER. I am downstairs and i can hear the squeak of the bedsprings please I swear to god pick me up THIS INSTANT.
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