Shit chicky whatchu wearin rt now, ur skins?
Oh dear, kinda... in ur sweats!
U look good, r we getting naked in ur car?
I'm having a terrible night. Can I sleep over?
Too tired to pretend that I care : (
I think the boy in my gender studies class cried when 90% of the girls said they had faked an orgasm
I don't care that you fucked her. I'm offended that once again, you fucked someone with me in the room because you assumed I was asleep.
karaoke mosh pit has descended into fisticuffs, send backup
and a jello shot exploded in my bra last night. Now I have blueberry smurfette boobs. Awesome.
Breathalizer & tazer party did not go as casually as expected.
He needs to seriously stop texting me at 3am for sex. Late night and early morning hours are for the guys who DON'T bust a nut in the first 5 minutes of making out.
Yeah minute men are best for late afternoons when you're inbetween running errands and have nothing to do.
Forced to cancel my booty call due to the snowpocalypse. This crosses the line.
I know this is a weird question but we both had pants on when my mom woke us up last night right?
Like Is it appropriate to tell your boss you banged a guy in the back of a truck at a wedding? Probably not.
WHAT KIND OF DEALER ONLY WORKS FRI-SUN???
Ours, apparently.
She grinded so hard on my face that I've got rugburn on both eyelids
my face feels like mints and my body feels like tingles
I swear to god, if you ever yell my name during sex with my sister again..your balls will be stapled to your nipples.
Randomize
