dude chill. it wont be anything like your seventh grade birthday party.
24 hour fitness called offering me a free trial stating that you referred them to me. I told them you have been taking pics of naked guys in the locker room and selling them online.
That's not a bad idea, actually...
No vaginas are yucky and I don't think you're old enough to handle one yet
If there was a god I would have a big mac right now, but i don't
that awkward moment when your booty call gets snowed in at your place.
Did we fight the bathroom girl ? She just wanted to give us lotion and condoms.
Sitting in back of morning lecture drinking a daqueri from my pink unicorn cup. Pretty sure the girl next to me smells it.
It is officially Christmas time in Chicago. There's a drunk hobo on the CTA singing the first 2 lines of Frosty the Snowman over and over and over.
Don't mind me. My boyfriend is carrying me because I'm broken not because I'm drunk.
It's not even 9:30 yet..
I just had sex in the men's bathroom of a Chinese buffet...
YOU ARE MY HERO
They're magnificent. It's like god made her last but hadn't fulfilled his boob quota.
He called me khaleesi while I rode his dick. He wins
i feel like if we ever had babies together they would just be drunk all the time
You like pics of my balls that much?
I am at the store looking at frames as we text...
I saw some guy masturbating in the Burger King parking lot and I’m just fucking done
Randomize
