Did you see 7 ppl got hurt at Talladaga?
Did they get their mullets stuck in an engine?
The cab driver just finished telling me how leaving community college after one month was the best desicion he ever made.
All i remember before i blacked out is you pointing to a random chick and telling me to bang her for America.
i think that dennys waitress has my boxers
I may have broken a few toes and my face hurts. I do know that I pissed the bed so at least I've got some closure there
He says he won't get serious until he screws an Asian and a virgin. I should just place an ad on Craig's List
Wanted: female 18-24 of Asian or partial Asian descent to fuck my ginger boyfriend. Must be willing and able to fake virginity. No emotional connection needed, just sex, just once. Further contact post sex not needed (or particularly desired)
As long as I don't spend the half the week passed out/fucked up on Klonopin and no one dies, this will be the best week I've had all semester.
If you don't let me come over I'm gonna call you on speaker and you have to listen to her scream and moan too
I'm not the one who gave a guy that lives next door to my grandmother a blowjob in a pub bathroom in Ireland, you have no room to judge.
The best part about daylight savings time this weekend is we get an extra hour to be fucked up.
Btw "you gettin a workout in" isn't a great gym pickup line. Like no I'm fucking grabbing lunch on my way to class.
So it turns out strippers do encores if enough people yell. Encore song: Self Esteem.
Hey I'm trying to get back with my ex I'mm done doing whatever we were doing I hope things workout for you
Weird flex but ok.
last night someone said that theyd like to do drugs with a dolphin ... judging from the diagram on the wall we figured it out.
all we need now is a dolphin ... and some drugs.
I just saw a chick driving drinking a juice box smoking all while on the phone that is talent
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