so are u like ashamed lol?
not really. i dont look at it as being homeless. im just going to pretend im on an extended camping trip
im pretty sure there are laws against slapping prostitutes
i'm pretty sure there are laws against prostitutes.
It's like sleeping with someone you met at a karaoke bar. It's never okay.
The only downside so far to having a guy roommate is that when he's doing a walmart run, I just can't bring myself to ask him to pick up a pregnancy test for me. I feel like that's just too much too soon.
I can hear my liver begging me not to go out tonight
we did rock-paper-scissors to see who would find out if you had alcohol poisoning
Walk of Shame today included voting.
I just want you to know if you wake up tomorrow morning and wreak of mustard, I was not involved.
FYI I just found your friend. Asleep. In. My. Kayak. In. Pool.
I will not fill you in on the details until we get back, so do not ask. I got peed on by the girl I was hooking up with last night.
The camera shows a viking with a white mask, a creepy green guy, a gorilla, and a pumpkin throwing eggs and laundry detergent in his yard
OHHH and there was a Batman too.
We didn't want to make a pit stop so I just helped my husband pee in a bottle. No one told me this was part of love.
it's almost 8pm and i'm still hungover. at what point do i alert someone?
There was a pumpkin carving contest and we carved a very realistic dick about to penetrate a vagina. Our Christian Youth hosts were not happy.
You peed on a pole and declared to a cop that it was your pole and yelled at him to not even look at it, and then yelled at all of us for looking at it.
Randomize
