No, I was feeling sad because all of the other girls were like model-skinny. But then I remembered that I had big boobs and went to hit on their boyfriends.
Just saw remains of her puke from last night on my pants.... thats got "Apology BJ" written all over it.
i always forget that thursday isnt the weekend in the real world
You owe me a new pair of headphones. You plugged mine into the top of a mustard bottle.
He just refered to Steak and Shake as "a good place for couples". I will definitely not be shacking tonight.
I still can't believe I found a dildo in my ceiling today.
The new google images is a smorgasbord of porn now are plans for tonight are off.
You are forgiven. I sent you a picture of a pumpkin man as a gesture of reconciliation.
Um yeah. I just puked. And found your contact.
Would "deck the halls with penises " be an appropriate event title? I know peni is the plural but flow of the tongue as well
I'm basically flying you out for a long weekend of sex and going to the zoo
I'm cool with that
I'm not sure... How do you tell someone who was so smashed they couldn't remember shoving their dick into the fireplace that their mother actually witnessed the whole thing?
The bump on my forehead, i think, was from falling asleep at front door, on my knees, slumped over. But we played good music so what?
Well, we all woke up in drag with no memory of why we were in drag. On the plus side, this shade of lipstick looks really good on me.
After we had sex he went to the kitchen, came back with a bag of funyuns and ate them buck ass naked in his bedroom doorway. Had no idea how to react to that one.
Randomize
