Wooohooo! I'm sitting in the car like a creep watching people walk in and out of Blush. Lots of happy people.
just woke up face down in my kitchen covered in cheetos. my mom just stepped over me to get to the coffee maker. hello summer
i was mowing the lawn and found the coffee pot in the bushes
How dare you send me a picture after midnight that isn't porn. You know the rules.
Woke up handcuffed to a half gallon of beam. Yep. This is my life.
well, the drug dealer I've been fucking the past 5 months gave me a chilis gift card for Christmas, so things are looking up.
Woke up shivering behind the titty bar, With the worst leg cramps. I'm like a poster boy for responsibility.
So the dude who sold me my english book is the same guy who let me punch him in the face in exchange for a cig at a party a few weeks ago. small world huh ?
You puked on the bar then proceeded to walk out. I told the bartender some girl walked up, puked and left and he gave me a free drink. Hope you got home safe.
A duck just looked me in the eye whilst I peed in a lake. I feel so dirty.
STOP SENDING ME NAKED PICTURES WHEN I'M TRYING TO TEACH. MONDAY TUESDAY 1-3 IS A DICK AND ARSE FREE ZONE
My mom just said "okay girls, the ONLY thing i ask is that you stay sober Saturday afternoon, until halfway through lunch. And you don't wear that crystal camo hat. This is a funeral, not a tailgate party"
Best wishes.
Do you remember vividly describing the shape and girth of my cock to that girl last night?
Did you make it home alright?
No I'm sitting under a tree by a cricket. He's alone crying out for someone to Fuck him. This guy gets me.
My parents are being so annoying about my colon.
Randomize
