my periods are so regular now that they are sync-ed with my subscriptions of vogue.
We didn't go..parents came home with patron wanting to play drinking games --we asked no questions
I can't believe you're fucking in the bar bathroom, but everyone else can, and they're really proud.
That's what you get for fucking someone nicknamed "wiggle worm"
Oh my God, I want him to live with his face in my vagina forever.
Blackout strip poker. Now. Bring flashlights because we found that candles are dangerous with nudity.
And I was slip and sliding my life away on a giant tarp with tons of soap and bitches. Priorities man, priorities.
I'm convinced that college is the only place where one can have an existential crisis over what sweatpants to wear
U were yelling that I wasn't generous or supportive. Then you kneeled and said this weird prayer about the windows and doors of your life.
I know it sucks but it's just something that needs to be done though. Like shaving ur pubes or going to the dentist.
you are dancing on the line between undergrad and alcoholic.
Monday is now my bitch. I just did 20 naked push ups on the bar for $20
I can check masterbating in China off the bucket list.
I woke up at 4am because the neighbors cat managed to sneak into my bed. HOW THE FUCK DOES THIS STUFF HAPPEN TO
I just woke up with a pair of handcuffs in my pants, can u explain this?
Randomize
