Does adding vodka to a protein shake defeat the purpose?
She used my dick as a microphone to sing "any way you want it" I'm in love.
America approved of our night. A bald eagle flew over us at 7am
i just saw the eighteen different ways i could die and only after that did i realize i'd made a poor decision
This is going to be a 3 day beach sex fest. Do you understand
Well, I plan on starting the night dressed as little red riding hood. Then I plan on finishing the night dressed as a shit show in a red cape.
My roommate is watching gummy bears "race" from a mega-marshmallow to his lava lamp.
State dependent memory. I just needed to feel my teeth. It was like a fog was lifted.
yea sometimes its awkward. but when you're a straight bartender at a gay bar and everyone knows it, they all think that they can make me turn gay. its like oh yea dude that extra $20 tip makes me want to suck some dick now
How hard do you think it would be to make a drinking game out of a Slip-N-Slide? Asking for a friend.
woke with Taco Bell next to me in bed and people's shoe sizes written on my arm.
I HAD TO PAY A COVER FOR THE FIRST TIME LAST NIGHT. My tits didn't get me in and I was so pissed.
I think one make out session at a bar per year is probably the best choice.
Hey remind me the get the pancakes out of my jacket
I didn't have anyone to cheers so I tapped my beer on your fish tank... a little too hard
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