obama could have borrowed sotomayor's dick when he threw out that that first pitch like a girl last night
I wish Pampers made couches for people like us.
you thought your tounge was "malfunctioning" because every time u spoke it wouldnt sit still.
God gave him joint rollers for hands
I have Retrograde Ejaculation as a side effect from one of my meds. Is this a respectable form of birth control?
then he tried to tell me how many times he had seen Scott's dick. his estimate was about 180 times. he thought I didn't understand.
We are doing handstands and somersaults in the pool. With an inflatable beer pong table and our regular beer pong table. We're ponging by land and by sea
I'm not really made for random hookups.. i'm like a swan.. i don't wanna have random swan sex. i just wanna have one swan hubby and fly around the world together and eat bread that people throw at us..
You're an asshole. I don't want your dick as my background. I'll look like I have a thumb fetish.
I feel like I should go door-to-door apologizing to America.
I only blacked out one night of three if that isn't fucking personal growth idk what is
You know you had a good night when you wake up cuddling a baseball bat and a can of chicken noodle soup.
"Accidentally" bump into him after class.
I'm gonna "accidentally" put his dick in my mouth.
He said that we couldn't refer to each other as brother and sister anymore cuz we were in no way related and he would love nothing more than to get naked with me.
We could just go to Vegas and celebrate my singlehood and not contributing to the population.
Randomize