Spring semester is just not the same w/o you
Is my tampon string too long for this dress?
She just got back from rehab. You dont celebrate that with margaritas.
Your sister got a Brazilian yesterday. It looks great
You were in the corner dancing by yourself yelling "I look good", when really you looked ridiculous and drunk
you wouldnt answer to anything but devil's advocate all night.
I think I just need to sleep with both of them to see which I want to date.
You just went from promiscuous to slut in 3.2 seconds.
im so sorry the vomit froze your passenger door shut... you should have stopped.
Her boyfriend only talks to me because I know her period schedule
this mall makes me feel like I just rolled a 9 in jumanji and got the stampede card
i think she just faxed a picture of her vag from the office copy machine... i mean what kind of sexting is that... wait is that even legal???
You know it's a good Halloween party when a guy wearing a light-up sombrero offers you blow.
Oh my god. I slept with my boyfriend last night. It was wonderful.
And when I say my boyfriend I mean my electric blanket. Because that's the kind of life I lead.
Woke up this morning naked, wrapped in a bath mat with a wad of singles on the table. I'm calling it a win.
We made out in front of everyone INCLUDING his girlfriend. And no one saw. THAT DRUNK!
Randomize
