Haven't eaten in 11 hrs. I am gonna have so much material to talk about with anorexic girls now
Seriously, I'm delusional. Idk how these models even walk on the runway
Thank you for leaving pool of vagina on my girlfriends carpet.
The guy I was getting with last night took off his purity ring mid-sex and threw it across the room.
im using the astroglide sample u sent me as a bookmark for the book im using to write my midterm paper. i need to get laid. bad.
Jus posted an album so big that it takes my manhood into question
His car is carseat is compatible. I checked while we were banging in the back seat...
four loko is officially banned. leave it to the kids from a state school to fuck it up for everyone
We are possibly on our way, unless we see the limo full of strippers.
My night ended with Em alternately crying and throwing up in the arms of a guy wearing a cutoff and a tiara. I sat holding a garbage can and wine glass full of water wondering how our night got to this point.
I hope you dream of an avalanche of penises
If I have to strap one on and give it to you good, you will not die revirginated. That's friendship.
sent a snap of my boobs out to my FWB his response was what happened to your other nipple ring.. how do I say it got ripped out by my other FWB last week without sounding like a slut
I got hella high today and freaked out about life and interest rates
Hey the moment you step into my house, find me IMMEDIATELY so we can pinky promise on not roping anyone at the party into yet another threesome
2 weeks into this dating someone with money thing and I already don't know if I can go back to the being poor life
Randomize
