sorry i walked in and ruined it, but i had to laugh she looked like a pile of bologna the way you had her pinned up on the wall
i dont understand why you dont get why i love him. i opened the bathroom door and he had his penis in his right hand and a mcdouble in his left.
He's slept with 25.5 people. Wtf is a half?
See this is what happens when we don't have sex everyday
No, this is a senior booty call. It cannot be ignored.
So ahh..."Multicultural Night" turned into "Fuck the Neighbor Night"
I have a boner and a quesadilla why aren't you here
Mom chose Thanksgiving to tell me the reason I am here is because she was too tired to give my dad a BJ and too drunk to make him pull out.
I danced with a french guy who licked the sweat off my neck and poured a drink on me. Not gonna lie, that shit was refreshing
I gave him a handjob in the uber car. Life is really spiraling downwards.
I'm covered in bite marks and have a cracked rib - was a good weekend
Mom is so high she had to turn off the ceiling fan because it was going too fast and it freaked her out.
Hey do you care to explain why there are 3 empty pickle jars next to me when I woke up or do I even wanna know?
I consider walking to the bars and dancing my exercise and I buy doubles so my drinks r heavier so that's my arm workout
Dude, running 15 min late.
Let's play a game, you pay for all the drinks I can finish before you get here. Go.
Randomize
