no, literally. he fb chatted me and said "since you're online i figured we could bang tonight?"
well judging by the amount of dired blood around my nipple rings i'm gonna assume it was a good night
Ummm so I just found the baby pumpkin that was on my porch last night in Village Pizza this morning on their counter. The cashier said some drunk girl came in and told him it was a present.
As girls, Bert & Ernie are not very bangable costumes. At least not by who we'd want to get banged by.
I was kidding. But I promise you I'd still find us the most eligible bangables, even if we dressed up like a dumpster and a prom night baby.
Basically I learned last night that if you're too polite people will think it's okay to play with your nipples when really its not even a little okay
I found an HIV test/information brochure on the kitchen table and what i can only assume to be an "I'm sorry you might have AIDS" gift bag, complete with a candle and popcorn, and I haven't seen you in 36 hours. You good?
Well the "Blackout with your sack out" party turned out predictably.
She said she'd heard about my nickname in high school. Apparently sledgehammer isn't as popular as you'd believe...
smoked some of that legal weed last night, felt like God himself legit bent me over his knee and spanked my ass. Never again..never.
I lost all of my bathing suit tops.. This is both a success and a failure
He tried to stop traffic by waving his half eaten pizza at cars.... And we were stupid enough to cross .....??!!!
We took her out for fresh air and next thing we knew, she was stumbling around the backyard picking dead leaves up off the ground and putting them in her shirt to "save them".
Yeah. I'm so over work, that I'm not even satisfied pretending to work anymore. I just flat out want to go home. Fuck this job
I would fuck him just for his dog
90% sure I just sold adderall to my professor
100% proud
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