I can only name 15 people I've had sex with - can I just start claiming that as my sex number?
I give him blow jobs while he watches sports.. how am I not his gf yet??
Every single piece. I examined every single square inch of this peanut butter and jelly sandwich. and fell in love with every inch. that high.
shes 19, drunk and said she has no gag reflex. im trying to decide if i have scruples
you dont
i dont
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The druken crowd just broke into singing "God Bless America" while waiting the newlyweds to get in the limo. My friend is eating rose petals.
Well on a positive note, crystal light now comes in margarita flavor
take 2 Ambien then drink a Red Bull and watch Alice in Wonderland. Trust me.
Are we sharing a room, or can I pack my vibrator?
Yes to both. We'll use the workout rotation from dorm life.
so far, I've observed him try to hit on 3 girls, 1 guy and a bar stool. Humanity is amazing from a sober point of view.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
No more co-pays for contraceptives. Whoever says Obama is a bad guy has clearly never had a pregnancy scare.
What's great about college is that i can eat chocolate cereal for every meal and call it a money saving technique.
woke up in a random sweater in a random bed in a random house on a street I don't recognize..
also, I vaguely remember swapping shirts with some random guy on the dance floor.
We're sitting in the bathtub, eating pizza, doing shots of vvodka and comparing nipples. I havfe never been so comfortable in my life.
Its honestly only a matter of time before I punch him in the face... I'll try to control myself until you guys break up
Oh you know just explaining sexual consent to a drunk 80 year old man. How is this my life?
Randomize