I can't open my eyes
Lol why not?
Because I have fat ankles and I'm drunk
I have a very awkward question for you. Could you possibly take my black dildo. My mom wants to clean my room.
FYI: Do not ever call any girl a thundercunt as a form of dirty talk.
Does slim fast make a chocolate heart for valentines? If so that's what she's getting.
She refered to her bed as the "cockpit"....I understand that this morning.
who put toothpaste on EVERY doorknob in my house?!
he actually managed to pick a girl up by telling her that her skirt was ugly and she didnt do a good job with her makeup. thats some seriously low selfesteem
I AM SUCH A BETTER PERSON ON DRUGS
It was like an alcohol war zone and you left a soldier behind.
a guy just walked up to us....drank the rest of my beer....and said sorry for my loss before walking away.
Haha he was not a poor little guy. If he'd talked to me or something I might feel bad. But since I saw him groping other girls as well as myself there's no sympathy coming from me
He's just picking out the right girl. I do the same thing with fruit. Grope them, squeeze them, smell them. I have to know I'm getting quality fruit.
The two of us decided to throw a spur-of-the-moment parade and the next thing I know we're 4 miles down the road being followed by 65 drunk strangers
I can't help that I bring out the sex in people
he's just got his life so together and it makes my pussy wet.
Stop confusing me with every girl you know that doesn't like sex.
Randomize
