Can I use cash for clunkers to trade in her boobs for a new set of 18 year old tits?
Its worth a shot.
I sold my books for weed money!
Finals don't start for a week...
If I die and they 'assume' it's natural causes, just go with it.
your tears are not going to buy me drinks...
Please fuck him. And then let me tell her. And then let me protect you from the knife she pulls from her Ed Hardy purse. Please.
He looks like Ryan Reynolds from this angle
Since when is drunk an angle?
He just referred to his foreskin as a snuggie. Help.
It's probably just the physical manifestation of slut karma. But i of course mean that in the kindest way possible because i love you and respect your choices
When your boyfriends ex-girlfriend texts you to see what you're wearing to his sister's wedding that you were not invited to, nor knew about. I think it's time to call it quits.
Her dad high fived me on the way out the door. Not the reaction i expected after she came so loud.
Yes, I have your ice luge mold. I'll do a prisoner exchange for the beer bong
To the person who put the glitter on my ceiling fan...fuck you
can we for just one second remember that I played with a homeless man's rat at st marks?
It's one PM on a Saturday and I'm sitting here drinking Jack, eating a block of cheese and playing Minecraft. Please tell me you can come drag me to a bar.
Remember when we used to smoke out of an apple at the playground? Those were some precious moments
I had sex in the tube at that same playground once. That park is full of memories.
Randomize
