I hope you shit your pants in a socially devastating situation.
Pro tip: Don't start playing Bejeweled on Facebook while waiting for your Adderall to kick in. Unless you have the next 9 hours free.
She devotes each year to either men or women. I waited all year for her to be straight, tonights the night.
Nothing like a 3am firealarm to kick a booty call out...
I wanna get freshman fucked up and do shady things on the last Friday of my youth.
This is like the best thing that's ever happened to us. We're getting paid to sit around get high and eat. There is a Jesus
Its alot like that time you got motorboated by the carni at the rodeo.
I rather not break my neck. It's hard to look sexy with a neck cast.
I'm at the level of despair that only Panda Express can fix
He used the ring emoji and we've gone out four times. What is my life.
fuck off. It's 10am and I'm drink gin and ginger ale through a twizzler straw. My life is marvellous
Remember when I made out with that stranger at the bar on my 21 in chicago? I wonder how he's doing
OH MY GOD REMEMBER ALL THAT I LOVE NEW YORK I DVRED BECAUSE I JUST DID
Earlier today I was eating cookie dough from a tube, now I'm laying naked next to a hot guy watching Pawn Stars in between orgasms. You really can have it all.
i asked your drunk ass where the fuck you were going and you screamed “WENDY’S BITCH”.
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