i kno its fucked up..but id rather sleep it off than seek medical attention right now
don't go back without me... they'll know i'm pooping.
i was gonna tell him a really embarassing story about you, but then i remembered im in all of them
i knew she was high when she broke up the cookies into her glass of milk and ate it like cereal
Everyone was high fiveing on their a walks of shame home. God im gonna miss college life
All i've done since I got back to my room today is take a three hour nap. Like, I even planned to change my pants and haven't even done that yet.
He just came in my nostril. Never look down when a guy is pulling out during missionary.
yeah except there is a correlation between drinking moonshine and going blind, which kind of concerns me
I just saw a group of 50+ year old women all wearing shirts that said "drink up, bitches" ...please tell me that can be us some day.
Dude he's not responding... I'll take that as an unpleasant visit to the clinic
Attempted to dodge my boyfriends cum last night and ended up falling off the bed and getting the worlds most painful charlie horse. fuck my life.
I think Facebook knows you fucked me. All of a sudden I get everything you do in my news feed.
you know you're drunk when you start breaking down your body composition into organic molecules
I don't know where I keep finding these guys, but mi power bottoms es su power bottoms.
I just upped my southern womanhood. Taking whiskey and Kleenex pocket packs to the funeral.
Randomize