I was taking a piss and started puking. I pissed myself and made a mess in the bathroom. Passed out, then got up and went back out from 11pm to 5am.
I changed 4 diapers and slept horribly in our hot apt. Now, I'm at my inlaws house watching the Rangers get pummeled. Oh how our lives differ.
A good Q tip ear swabbing is better than bad sex.
I just beer bonged a sparks. You better get your ass over here because no one is on my level yet
He could list all of the presidents! Every one, and in order!! I was so impressed the least I could do was give him a blow job.
Ah, yes. Making our founding fathers proud.
just threw up in the bus full of other international students just outside of boulder, just keeping the aussie reputation alive
you finished all 5 burgers, started crying tears of joy, and then claimed the tears were actually just 'meat sweats' from your eyes
His blow is so strong I threw up. Buy it. I'm in nursing school I know what I'm talking about.
I guess I just laid down next to him with the entire pot of mac n cheese and started giving him a handie with one hand and eating with the other
youre just mad because i have donuts and im beautiful
I'm going home because your Crackraptor step-brother tried getting his nasty meat hawks in my pants last night.
Please tell me there is not a bookmark on your browser with the title "Christmas Porn"
They filled a kiddie pool with lube and glitter.
Please clarify that he is speaking of beer pong and not rough sex
I'll seduce him with my charm, after all, I am a graceful swan.
More like a demented cow.
Not to be hella graphic on main but I just came so hard I think I saw a new color.
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