bl l w
this should be fun to decipher. I'd like to buy a vowel.
We've been fucking since Friday.... This is the most committed non-committed relationship I've ever been in
i cant do it anymore.. every time this girl orgasms she sounds like a motorcycle
Take your time, they're doing body shots off the dog.
I'm pretty sure he's lost all respect for me. it probably happened somewhere around the time i had officially slept with every single one of his friends..
She just fell in the river. Meet us downstream with the bottle.
Every single person in dollar tree stares at you if you are buying a pregnancy test and wearing a charlie brown costume. Just FYI.
This will never work out with him unless I somehow learn how to unhinge my jaw like a python.
so far, I've observed him try to hit on 3 girls, 1 guy and a bar stool. Humanity is amazing from a sober point of view.
We got back from the bar and started watching bizzare foods, which subsequently led to the consumption of large amounts of rancid lunch meat and small insects.
Don't make emojis simulating eating me out
I woke up this morning with a half eaten bagel and an empty pack of imitation crab meat in my bed. This is going to be my response to pick up lines now.
I'm here. Help me get the salsa and bong inside.
They left me at home... I'm a liability
Yes. With one-hundred percent positivity I can say yes, I do not want you covered in waffles and syrup when I come home.
Randomize
