so I'm in athletic shorts, a suit jacket and I'm still drunk at 6:30am at the last leg of relay for life
I seriously dont think i have ever ridden a horse sober.
I felt like a dog for all the times during sex that he said "good girl"
That's why I don't chug things. Because when I was a freshman in college tequila came out my nose.
Any man who has a face like that and a bike, deserves a vagina like yours permanently.
should I tell them that both of them had sex with me last Saturday? it might be a relationship builder type of thing you know?
Dammit now I'm pissed. Its like I am torn between two worlds. A world of girls, and a world of people punching other people in the head. Both are just so beautiful.
She got called into work early but she left me a note that had directions to her roommates stash of weed on top of a two bacon and egg mcmuffins. I think I win.
Is your gma going to be okay with me passed out drunk on the ground
Omg. I'm making you a chocolate and "herb" birthday cake and using joints for candles. I'm gunna need moms help with this!
I told people at my moms bar that all I needed to sober up was to get my asshole licked, and I blame you 110%.
I didn't tell that thing I wasn't coming over. Whoops
You know you haven't dated in a while when you call boys "that thing" and call dates "a boy type thing."
we're so committed to being not committed
i just woke up in my dog's bed, on my parents floor, my outfit on backwards, and a bottle of lube poured down my pocket.
Remember how slutty I thought she was when we were freshmen?
Yeah! But that was a long time ago. Plus, you use your sluttiness for good!
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