i love how you can even make your typing come across bitchy
is it bad that i regret hanging out with a girl tonight because that means i have less time to sit on youtube watching xmen cartoons?
Ever have a poop and think... that has no business coming out of a human? Like it looks like a sick dog's or a ferral animal's?
just thinking about him makes my vagina shudder.
I wouldnt endorse that guy if he was walking in a walkathon to raise money for a disease i had
He makes me wish my vagina was bigger... This must be what love feels like.
Who are these men, what are we doing here, how is this helping us toward our goals of sex and pasta? Things to consider.
I want to play lord of the rings tonight. And by that I mean get really drunk, potentially lost, and go trekking through the woods or climbing shit. I want all of you there. You are the fellowship. This is a mass text. I am insanely high.
I have vodka and explosives. For once, we can blow something up that isn't a blow-up doll.
Nothing can teach you regret more efficiently than a wine hangover.
Let it be known that on this day, the 26th of October, in the year 2016, I successfully put both of his balls in my mouth at once.
Drunk text the hot guy two doors down confessing my love for him.... He gave me a thank you card today.
Its 6:30pm and dad just drunk called me asking me what the alarm code at home is..... I'm at home, and dad isn't here.....
That time of your life is like a blur to me. There was churches, car fucking, and conservatives
Do thigh high boots and a ball gag count as a costume?
Randomize
