May have just accidentally purchased an iphone on Kate's credit card. This has potential to be bad.
It's Friday. Sex?
you were calling yourself Ulickes S. Cunt.
hey can i ask you a kinda weird question?
i know what the question is. yes they are bigger, and no i did not get plastic surgery
It was like fucking a house. Down the chimney. That deep and empty.
Do you remember puking up your retainer into the toilet and putting it right back in your mouth?
Fair warning: We've transformed the living room into a giant tent.
I went on my dinner date pretending that my lunch date didn't jizz in my hair.
Crap I still need to get you a wedding gift. I'm just gonna give you a bag full of cash, lube, and condoms. And I'll use furry handcuffs instead of ribbon to tie the gift bag handles together.
lets talk about you, dubstep, and a bunny suit.
.It's like gods test of willpower against vaginal comfort
Tell me how you feel about belly buttons
While I appreciate the pity sex (seriously, THANK YOU) we should not do it 3feet away from my ex when he's passed out next time. Awkward.
I mean I could but due to my age and being a mother and all I feel it's poor judgment to give fellatio in a public establishment.
I don't know where I'm at. But I'm pretty sure what I'm looking at is a small bear.
Randomize
