Is it bad to mix sunny d with vodka if i dont have any real OJ?
I've mixd ketchup with vodka before and called it a bloody mary, so, no.
Also, the republican called me again last night. He called me dumb and ugly then begged to come over. Gosh... he knows how to make me want him...
She's allergic to latex.
Lucky bastard.
Be here at 3:30. We'll find out how much beer can fit in a Mini Cooper.
he offered to walk down from the bar this morning to my house and bring me a guinness...
how romantic. its the irish mans version of flowers
he swears he got herpes from a bowl of soup
tell your freshman friends. will trade sexual favors for swipes. ive got dinner tomorrow open and lunch on wed
In lieu of flowers, please donate to The Hungover Children's Fund in my name.
I hit a child with a fudge sickle from a moving vehicle after he flipped me off, I feel like a God. Tell no one. My partner didn't see it.
I woke up with chocolate melted between my tits. I'd say that's a win for all parties involved.
I walked out in my coconut bra, and that's when it all went downhill.
It would be weird sobbing cry sex.
I left after he drunkenly went into the kitchen and started to make eggs with a shitload of garlic. First time I'd ever had a makeout session interrupted by eggs.
Well, he was my lawyer and now we get drunk and hook up.
That explains the way he looks at you.
Just sold our expired ticket for a free night of bowling to a drunk guy downtown for 50 bucks. Ill buy beer on my way home
Randomize
