apparently smacking a customer in the face with his iPhone was not part of the WOW factor we learned in training...
i'm lost and i look like a hooker
You even been so high breaking up weed with your fingers feels like surgery?
Whenever I don't wipe thoroughly after shitting, I just think that anyone if anyone sticks their finger up my ass, they had it coming.
Im sending over a girl who thinks youre in the next twilight movie
your the best winggirl ever
Even though he is humpbacked he is really good in bed.
Why did I think it was so necessary to steal that rolling pin?
She sucked my dick while i watched james bond. And they say marriage sucks
Did you ask me to bring you a t-shirt to class or did I just dream that?
No, I did. It's a long story.
You were walking away to pee and as you were undoing your belt you looked at me and said "the belt is off. the game is on. Remever that."
Dude, she got "I party too much" skinny. She looks like a recovering drug addict.
I could definitely fill a shot glass w my cum
please don't
His phone started ringing when we were pulled over and he said 'hold on, this is most likely more important than you', proceeded to answer it and agree to work sunday, then hung up, looked at the cop and told him to continue.
Beer Olympics must happen in honor of the legit Olympics.
If I don’t find a quality dick soon I’m going to beg the neighbor for another threesome with her and her husband. It’s like Covid killed all the quality penis Vegas normally has
Randomize
