THE most awkward situation I have EVER been in
Also, I just threw up a little in my mouth and had to act like everything was totally fine.
oh man you're gonna hate me when you log onto facebook. remember i love you
I hope im prettier
yea, just so you know this whole self-loathing thing is getting pretty fucking annoying
I am paying my roommate as much of the electric bill in pennies as possible because I hate her.
This needs to stop. I just vacuumed the wall. Adderall is a double edged sword.
im kinda looking forward to winter break. ive been away from home for so long i think i can trick my vagina into thinking that these arent the same people ive been hooking up with since high school...
So I just did the math and everything in this room except the computer and my clothes has been in my vagina
He started screaming "fuck me I'm Ryan Gosling" and proceeded to pick up the smallest guy at the party and carry him to bed.
Thing I said while arguing: I want to be single again so that I can have pizza and dick rained down upon me.
Pulling out all the stops on being a lady.
I feel horrible. I brought her to your house like a late night pizza delivery and dropped her off.
Why did I wake up to a snap chat of myself drinking beer out of a blender?
I had sex in a panda mask the other night.
No one should have to go to work between Christmas and New Years, but here I am twirling in my office chair and putting Jack in my coffee like I’m back in college studying for finals.
He howled at the moon then told me that if i were a dog he'd have sex with me...either i look like that girl or i need to stop going on blind dates. Period.
The last thing I remember was them slipping shots into my beer bong, and me being happy about it
Randomize
