So I'm sober and underage, being hit on by a groom-to-be with braces...is it a bad thing that I'm enjoying it?
I just recorded courtney puking and set it as my ringtone.
I will give you vagina for bag of have'a corn chips.
My vagina hasn't been this smooth since I was 8. I better get laid tonight.
you're the best thing to happen to me. closely followed by learning to ejaculate, and drugs.
thankjk goddddn taco bell uis open htis lateee!
you do know it's eleven in the afternoon, right?
Our drug dealer just got busted, wear black tmrw
You were doing karaoke. Then you screamed "SHOUTOUT TO ADAM LAMBERT" and started making out with the very surprised looking guy next to you.
he was banged his ex for coke the whole time and is still the best guy so far this year. standards need to be raised.
I wish I could walk around this campus with a big stamp that says "Approved" and just stamp girls asses as they pass.
I don't think we had sex because when I woke up he was still wearing the chicken suit.
There was a reason God said "Let there be titties" on the Fifth Day.
I feel like a pizza delivery girl of vagina tho
your life is not complete until you watch a gaggle of murderous clowns dance to gangnam style.
also, what is the correct term for a shit ton of clowns?
Note to self: trying to grow pubes back = worst decision of 2014 thus far
Randomize
