doesn't he have a GF?
that just means you have to try harder.
i didn't have to try TOO hard, just told him i didn't want to know his name or...
New record: 45 minutes. Afterwards I played We Are The Champions while we cuddled.
She told me to "stuff her hole like a build-a-bear". I was so drunk I didn't even think that was weird.
My boobs are too big for things to be going this downhill in my life.
you don't seem to understand just how much pasta i spilled on my bed last night.
Feels weird sitting between two guys who've had their heads between my legs in a 24 hour span.
She asked if you knew her boyfriend, and you responded that you "think you gave him head once" and then hiccupped.
its official. the only way for my hair to look good is to blow somebody
i figure now that we're number one party school im obligated to black out at least 4 days a week. andddd go.
Dont tell her I prefer to have an aura of mystique surronding me and my penis.
it was like teleporting. everytime i opened my eyes, i was somewhere different... usually the floor.
Accidentally searched up "pizza pasties" instead of "pizza pastries". I was not disappointed.
Maybe you should slow down tonight...
KINGS DON'T NEED ADVICE FROM LITTLE HORN-BILLS FOR A START
Remember I am not doing blow tonight. I REPEATE NO COCAINE unless I do it with your mom
What's the point of having a gay best friend if he doesn't play with your titties?
Randomize
